Can You Smell That? It's Time to Get Your Feedback Clean.
They say Feedback is a gift. But giving Feedback, just like picking presents, is a major source of anxiety for many - not only because we all know how hard it is to be gracious about a truly horrible gift. Fortunately, many well-tested concepts can help us ensure we don't end up as those terrible gift-givers. You know who we're talking about here.
- What they saw or heard - facts verifiable by a 3rd party not colored with personal insight (evidence),
- The meaning they made up about it, how they interpret the behavior (inference),
- And the effect it had on them, how did it make them feel, or behave (impact).
Let's look at an example:
John, you've been pretty detached during the last meeting, looking at your phone the whole time apparently responding to some private messages. To others, this might seem like you don't care what they are saying...
Let's try differently this time:
John, I've noticed that you picked up your phone 5 times during the last meeting. A few times, we even had to backtrack to previous slides to share what we have discussed while you were busy typing. When you're on your phone for so much of the meeting time, I see it as if you're not (interested in) hearing what we're saying. Not only this makes me feel sad, but it also prolongs the meeting unnecessarily.