Emotional Agility, Authenticity, And ... Aggression?

In our recent article on emotional agility, we explored what emotional agility is and how to develop it.

The basis of emotional agility lies in mastering three steps:

1) Perceiving own powers, being attentive to them,

2) Accepting own emotions, not fighting nor denying them,

3) Choosing the best possible reaction and response in a given situation, acting the way one wants and needs, not how emotions command.

Now let's look at emotional agility from a different perspective. If you think back to the leaders who have inspired you the most, what were their qualities? It's almost certainly one of them was authenticity. But if showing up yourself matters so much, isn't it better to act how nature dictates and how your emotions command you?

The concept of emotional agility, in fact, goes against the suppression of our emotions, which then accumulate in us and threaten to erupt either at an undesirable time, to an undesirable extent, or, in ways that are harmful to us or our surroundings. Emotional agility is based on authenticity, that is, on being aware of our emotions, examining them, and acting in a way that is consistent with our values.

Thinking back to those inspiring leaders, did any of them tend to yell at people? Most probably not. And trust us when we say that there were times when they wanted to. Badly. But they did not. And you still see them as authentic. 

What they did, was that they realized, manifested, and experienced negative emotions, but did not vent them completely, spontaneously, and without any regulation. When they felt upset, they understood that there were different ways to respond and behave, and they wisely chose their reaction.